Because you live
by manam-ai
Summary: This is based on the songs "Because you live" by Jessie McCartney.


"Why do people join gangs

"Why do people join gangs? Money?" The tall, brown-haired woman said, as she was trying to read something on the paper.

I shook my head, and turned off the TV. "Um, maybe they don't have someone to look over them; someone to tell them that it is bad." I made my way to my room. If you have seen it you would say it's a room that reflects my personality. I have plain white walls, a huge desk with a small TV in the top with two notebooks on the side. I have a small bed next to the window. It's a small room. I have a few hooks for hanging my clothes. And there's a brownish carpet.

I sat on the bed and took the guitar which was laid beside the bed. I played a piece, and sang. I love to write songs, and play guitar. I spend my days in the park, writing songs. After that I took my diary. Every now and then I write in there – when I am depressed, sad or happy. I took a pencil and a pen and started to write.

_March 10, 2008_

_Dear Diary_ 

_Today, I went to the music shop. I found what I was looking for - something that belongs to me and only me. A guitar that nobody can take away from me; something that I can look forward to doing every day, other then hanging out with the gang. I don't want to be like them. All I see and learn from them is robbing people, beating them up, or even killing them. I am tired of pretending to be someone who I am not. Even though they took care of me since I was eleven, and now I am nineteen years old. I lived in an orphanage for all eleven years. I don't know how I got there, and I don't know anything about my parents. The only think I know is that the head of the orphanage found me along a river in Japan, while she was on vacation. I am thankful for her, but I would rather die there than live. It's not like my parents wanted me anyways. They are the one who left me there. I left "Just for care" because I was tired of being there. I wanted to be someone; I didn't want to be like the kids in the books. I have my own life now…I can do what ever I want….if I want to._

_Anyways, today I went to "Just for care." They had painted the building, and I could see kids happily playing in the backyard. When I saw Natalie I left. I didn't want to bother her._

_!!I HATE MY LIFE!!  
!!LIFE SUCKS!!_

I closed the diary only to see that it had been three hours; it was 9:00 P.M. The door was closed, and it seemed that Jaime was here, and asleep. I turned the light off, hoping that days to come were going to be a better.

A week passed since I wrote in my diary. My days were the same; I hung out with Jaime and Timmy. They are annoying twins; always trying to ruin somebody's life. They were the ones who took me in, because they felt sorry for me.

_March 17, 2008_

_Dear Diary:_

_I am in the park right now. It's about 7:00 a.m. The sun is rising and the chilly air is making my hair stand up. The leaves are green and the flowers are already blooming. If you saw me, you would see a girl sitting on the swings, my long black hair blocking my face. My blue short-sleeve shirt says "Music, Art", and I cut down my jeans to capris. There is nobody around, except me, with my guitar and you. I was thinking of writing a song. I am thinking of writing something like "Nobody knows who I really am, I never felt this empty before." I like this line... I can't think anything... How about "Nobody knows who I really am, maybe they don't give a damn". _

I closed my diary, and decided to go home. Maybe I could see a movie or some kind of show, that's not too depressing. I walked all the way to my house thinking about the lines of the song. I return to home, only to see Jamie's and Timmy's friend pushing back to the wall, he seemed rather angry, I wondered why.

"I can't breath! Let me go!"

"Tell me where Jamie is?" he yelled at me. "I know he is here."

Jamie lives with me now; she told me that she owes money to him.

He let go of me.

"Tell Jamie she better pay me soon. Otherwise you know what is going to happen!!"

He entered his black Toyota and left. I ran to my room. All my stuff was all over the place. Part of my bed was out of the room. The clothes were all on the floor, wrinkly. I thought _they were probably searching for the money_

If you mess with the gang, you knew where you could end up. Our group, our gang, was called "Calle" mostly because the eighteen members speak Spanish. The highest-ranking person, or the leader, is called "Prof" and the lowest is the "Messaje", which is currently me. I am like the delivery girl. I go to people's houses and deliver money, weapons, documents and more. People or police don't suspect that I am involved in a gang. They probably see me as an innocent girl. That's why in my missions they make me wear cute dresses and put my hair in ponytails. Yeah, and my Asian eyes look very sweet with glasses, just like a normal high school kid. They don't know that I have never been in high school, or that I have beaten people up. But that's my job for now. I cannot get out, even if I want to. If I do, they will kill me.

You could add a date here

It has been three days and Jaime hasn't showed up. I wonder what she is going through. I am afraid they are going to kill her, and then I will have to pay off her debt. And I don't have any money. Ok. I admit that I don't like my life, but this is really bad.

Thirty seconds later Jaime showed up, her hair looked like a mess, her eye black and her lips bleeding.

"My god! What happened to you?" I ran to her, trying to help her, as she was about to fall.

"You know what happened. They want the money soon." I helped her and even made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I left her there. And like always, I went to the park. The park always makes me feel better. My usual swing was taken today by a kid, he seemed like a two year-old. A high school kid was pushing him. From far away, he seemed to be holding a notebook. He was about five ten. He had wavy black hair and dark blue eyes. He also had fading dark circles under his eyes and his cheeks were flushed. I sat on the table and opened the diary. I tried to finish the songs that I started, but I couldn't. I wrote some stuff, and closed the diary, only to realize that I fell asleep in the park, under the tree. I woke up. I could see a shadow. I got up, a black leather jacket on top of me. Then I heard someone singing and my guitar playing. His voice seemed sweet; I could imagine that it was that boy who was pushing his brother on the swing earlier.

"You seemed cold, so I covered you"

_Am I dreaming? I see no one, but maybe he is behind me._

I turned around and thanked him. "You didn't have to."

I took my diary, which was lying beside me and took my guitar from him. He liked to play the guitar too. So we ended up talking and he walked me home. It was great; I didn't feel too lonely for once.

_March 20, 2008_

_Dear Diary:_

_Today I met the cutest guy ever. We have many things in common. He likes to sing and write songs, he even played a song for me. I showed him the songs that I was writing and he liked it. He writes songs too, and he asked me to help him with a song. He walked me home, and asked for my number, but I didn't give it to him. He gave me his number. We talked all the way to my house. He told me about school, about his dream about being a SINGER. I told him that I didn't know who I was, all I knew about myself was that I love to sing, draw, write, and play the guitar._

_What if he finds out about the gang? I am scared._

_Yuki- I like it, it's his name. _

I didn't call Yuki; I just didn't know what to say. But I ended up seeing him at the park; it seemed that he liked the park too.

"I never met someone like you before."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He looked me in the eye. "You like the same things I do, I love the cute Asian eyes, and I like your personality, it reminds me of my mom. She died two years ago from cancer.

"Oh, I am sorry"

"So what is your story?"

"I don't really know my parents. I lived in an orphanage for 11 years, then later with my friends. I work for my friends in order to earn a living."

I never expected to fall for him, not so easily. I told him so many things of my life. I am scared, what if something happens? He came in my life, just like that, and left a mark in my heart.

I have been helping Yuki a lot with his song; he said it was for someone special. Getting back to my real life everything is bad; Jaime hasn't paid her debt yet. I feel like somebody is following me. I think it is the people whom she owes. I remember them from the time they try to choke me. I didn't realize it until I met Yuki at the park.

"Kairy, I know you are there. Come out now!" they yelled. I felt scared now that Yuki was with me.

"What is going on here?" Yuki said, trying to hide behind the tree.

"Sorry, they are here for my friend; they think she is with me."

"I am not going to shoot if you come out. Just come out!"

I got out, only to find myself on the ground, my hands filled with blood. It think they shot me, in my right shoulder. I could only hear voices ("No, please don't die"). I felt dizzy and sleepy, I closed me eyes and the next thing I know is that I was in the hospital, surrounded by Natalie, Yuki and Jaime.

"Hey kiddo" said Natalie who was sitting on the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine" I responded. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Three days passed and I was still asleep. Finally when I woke up, I felt better.

I tried to get up and saw Yuki still there. It seemed like he had been in the hospital for days. "Yuki, what are you doing here?"

"I know what is going on."

"You do?"

He nodded and continued

"Jaime told me everything"

"Natalie do you know it too?" I asked.

"Yeah"

They explained what had happened, and Jimmy had told them everything about me. Yuki didn't seem mad. He was supposed to be mad, because I didn't tell him the truth. But I guess he accepted me. Natalie left me alone with Yuki so we could talk, and we did. I explained everything to him. He listened to me carefully, then leaned close towards the bed and kissed me. He opened my hand, and handed me a paper. I opened it and it was the song, the song I was helping him with – "Because you live." I read it and loved it. But it left like I was the one who was singing it; to him. He was the one who helped me, not me.

_June 13, 2008_

_Dear Diary:___

_It has been so many days. I feel so much better now. Every member of the "Calle" thinks I am dead. And I am happy because I don't have to do anything I don't want anymore. Now I am living with Natalie in her house. Next year I am going to college with Yuki. I got accepted to the college. Everything is good with me and Yuki. I feel happy____. Yuki published his song, and sang it to me_


End file.
